For days we were sitting by the window in our tin roof hut by a grove of green green banana trees.

ceiling fan, rain, the sound of soft soft kisses


I close my eyes and I see us in a high rise, the tallest in the world. I don’t know why but it is this way between us. Always a…


Episode 9: Les yeux de pauvres

I have seen the gravest of poverty since my birth. So, when I had a chance to turn my body into a weapon to fight the inequality — I took it.

1977 to 1982

The lane on which our house stood in Kadamtala, Bashabo began with a Buddhist Temple and ended with a Temple dedicated to Kali. It was the lowlands of Dhaka. Every monsoon the streets were submerged in water. …


Episode 8: Vivek Ananda and The Vedas

Six years ago

It must have been Spring of 2015 — I cannot remember the exact year and season. I had this feeling that my husband was time traveling and that he wasn’t really my husband. I also woke up finding a knife that was in my dream, in my kitchen. I began to think about how matter transfers from dream to reality, and the nature of reality. I read about my past life and the texts that helped me understand nature. I downloaded books by Vivek Ananda and the four Vedas. It…


Episode 7: Goddard, Astronauts and Cosmonauts

Memory

When I became pregnant with Bashō, I was working on the pre-production of You of Many Days. The team and I began calling him Goddard (after the director). Goddard was then shortened to Goddie. Stefan thought the phase of calling the baby Goddie would pass. But even in my eighth month, we were still calling him Goddie. Stefan warned me with a story of a little girl who had a far more innocent name of Colette, which turned into Closet. I got the message. How about Hermes, I suggested? …


Episode 5: Murderers from another dimension

They did it again last night- symbolic violence that is supposed to be a message and an impact on my body. They stabbed a Police Officer in Rambouillet in the neck. Last October, they beheaded two people in Paris and Nice. I feel sick to my stomach — a heart-shattering sadness. I know what they are trying to say: be afraid, climate change must go on, we will not let Earth rise.

Who are they? A certain darkness that once controlled the Kabaa, has regained control of the House of God. They continue to…


Episode 6: The pain

Have you seen those bodies of water overspilling with trash, the water turned green and black, sludge and sludge, the smell, the neglect?

It is my body.

Sometimes I wish the pain would stop — like the times when the urine runs into my right leg or my colon pushes into my tongue and empties into my brain. Or when I run toward the bathroom but the Asuras knock me down before I get to the toilet and I lose consciousness for seconds that feel like hours.

I don’t know how they do it but these…


Episode 3

View of Earth from Saturn, taken by Cassini http://www.nasa.gov/mission_pages/cassini/multimedia/pia17171.html.

I picture Earth, a drop of water suspended in space. I think of the wars, the confrontations, the unwillingness to consider peace first. I think about the diversity — the unimaginable beauty and fragility of life. I do not have enough body, enough liver, enough gall bladder to protect this place. I tried with all my hubris, stupidity, and amnesia to do the best that I can and my best is not good enough. I miss my children. A million howls are trapped between the synapses of my brain.

God is fucking with me. He’s always doing that…


When my sons read this, I want them to know that it’s okay to get lost from time to time.

I was editing my documentary on Afghan artisans in Bombay. It was the year 2008. I was working with Bela Sehgal. I loved her work as an editor but she was really interested in directing. She wasn’t sure she wanted to edit a documentary. We were introduced by a mutual friend. We met several times before we began working together. I wanted a diverse team of people connected through the documentary from across South Asia. The process was very important…

Shireen Pasha

Writer and filmmaker, interested in technology, consciousness and the creative process.

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